Reflections
No matter who you are or what end of the situation you are in I believe that there is no experience you can’t learn something from each and every day. Since I have been given the presence of mind and the time to reflect on the impact of my traumatic brain injury on me and others I come across on a daily basis, I felt it would be both encouraging and empowering to this page that I share some of the important psychological and spiritual lesson that I have learned. I hope you find these insights helpful to you and your situation so that you may learn something about yourself and others.
From the moment you found out that you had a traumatic Brain injury, you have had many people telling you what you need and what you are able to do, sometimes against your best wishes. Though many of these are words of advice and professional recommendations that you should listen to, they do not, in any way define you.
As a survivor, when I first came home from the hospital after my Brain injury, this was my experience. I took some much –needed time to learn about my physical and mental weaknesses and worked to improve them. Many people, including myself had preconceived ideas of what a traumatic brain injury was and what a person with this condition was capable of. Because this outlook was not what I wanted for my life, I decided to work as hard as possible. And with enough work, I went far beyond the limits that were set for me.
Doctors who are likely skilled in their field, are filled with lots of noteworthy advice about recovering from a serious injury. Keep in mind that these practicing physicians are just that—“practicing.” They are just as human as you are and are only capable of seeing your future through the lens of their experience. Their advice and outlook on your future is in no way a measure of your potential or a definition of you. You only determine the definition of you.
As for other people—family friends and others outside our immediate social circle, these people, probably meaning well, can only judge you by what they see and are, like the doctors can only be expected to assess you through the lens of their experience. Often you will find as I have found that the limits people place on you are the limits that people would place on themselves if the situation was reversed. Once again, don’t allow other people to define you through your condition. You own the definition of you
If you were to take anything from this message it would be these three things
1. Know those who surround you
2. Know your limits
3. Know yourself
Reflection No. 1: know yourself
Reflection No. 2: Help yourself by helping someone else
As a TBI survivor outside of the hospital, you are inevitably given a lot of time alone, while people l their lives. This is a time for self –reflection, not self-pity. In that time you will be drawn to look at all of your problems—what you don’t like about your life. When I go home from the hospital, I had to deal with coming into a new environment and relinquishing control of my life to my family. If you are in a similar situation, you might feel a sense of hopelessness and helplessness. This kind of mindset, being around you constantly can set back your recovery, by holding back your mental progress. One thing I have found works as a healthy way of escaping your problems is to involve yourself in doing volunteer work in your community. In doing this you will strengthen your communication skills by speaking with people in your work group, and conversing with the people you serve. In serving your community you will boost your self-esteem by allowing yourself to feel effective. Plus you can help others by sharing your story with them, showing them that they can rise above their problems. The physical work will work to improve your physical impairments, helping you to move closer toward independence, proving the idea that you doing good for the world does you a world of good.
